i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
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