One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
