have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
i think my cat just said my name.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize
