You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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