Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
