After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize