Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
