Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
