The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
