she looked like the bat from fern gully.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
