took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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