I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize