You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
