If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
They should really pass out barf bags in church
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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