I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
