not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
She bit a glass in half.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
