Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I just gargled with NyQuil
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
