I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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