I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
