I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize