I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
