put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
