so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
