I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
