We won't sleep together?
someone threw a dead crab at me
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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