this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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