I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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