So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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