i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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