Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
