exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
