buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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