Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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