it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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