If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Randomize
