it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
