You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize