Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
