It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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