Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
