So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
