She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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