It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Randomize