We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Randomize
