told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
