dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
