I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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