Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
