TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
