dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
My cat gives me a boner
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
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If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
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We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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