He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
We had to coat check the pizza.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
