we have pet lesbian snakes
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize