I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Everclear isn't food dammit
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
