I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
