Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
