We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
We were destined to go to rehab together
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
My butt remains clenched, sir.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
i out mim tonsoeep
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
