You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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