Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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