Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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