she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
