The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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