i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
